Sunday, July 09, 2006

Welcome (heavily borrowing from the russian)

I grew up a happy, healthy child surrounded by smiling faces, fresh berries, picture books and mountain vistas. As a youth I spoke of games, travels and luxuries with a blithe ignorance to the reality of identity. I rarely experienced hostility based on my person while growing up in the blonde and blue hills that G-d himself selected for his newest chosen. Do not get me wrong; there were the predictable run-ins with the naive mothers one expects to find in homogenous suburban communities. Mothers who still enforce "not-a-drop" notions of race upon their credulous children, husbands, and neighborhoods. I learned at a young age to respond appropriately to these callow creatures and their ideas (the most appropriate action of course was taking every step necessary to insure I grew to be a more successful and desirable child than their own futureless off-spring). I departed their Zion to pursue the academy and have not sense returned for more than brief holiday vacations.

Out of spite I would like to share with you where some of the most violently indoctrinated youth find themselves these days: (names changed to protect myself from libel charges)

ASSHOLE: Prison; Meth charges. (racist ideology of his mother should give him plenty of background to find friends while in state custody).

BASTARD: Dead. Car+ Southern Comfort+ Tree = No more internalized self-hatred.

BITCH: Married 2.5 kids, husband in law school. (Fear not, the blind faith she follows will insure that the racist, classist, and spiteful nature of her kind will be perpetuated for at least 1 more generation)

CUNT: Prostitute. Not literally, but sleeping with 3 men in the Salt Lake City area: 1 pays for her house, 1 her car, and 1 for school. She says this with pride amongst her "posse" but claims her job at Nordstrom affords her lifestyle to her oblivious family.

Despite my particular disdain for these 4; they prepared me for battle.

The ASSHOLE imposed a shackle of racism upon my wrists at the age of 6. He instigated an exclusion of any "brownies" from daily playground activities, after school activities and of course at the "cool table" in the lunchroom. The school (fearing reprisal) denied knowledge of his plot; but the teacher was all too aware of the inequity occurring between her students.

The BASTARD enforced a belief (derived from his grandfather) that my "lifestyle" relegated me to an inhuman status; deserving constant harassment, intimidation and in private flirtation. It is necessary to include here that his primary cause for drinking was to numb the pain of his own ungodly desires. Looks like it killed him in the end anyway.

The BITCH attempted to coerce me back into the flock. I engaged in questioning and investigations of her institution; she abandoned her stewardship.

The CUNT I just hate. She has never done anything to me as a person; but the hypocrisy of sitting in church as a puritan on Sundays and sucking her way through college the rest of the week demanded her inclusion on the list.


So if you are still reading; I am sure you are wondering why this blog has been started and what the point of these recollections are.

This blog’s purpose is for me to explore the rampant discrimination I have been oblivious to for far to long. In an undeniably selfish manner; I am not interested in the discrimination experienced by others. I will only reflect upon experiences of ontological and physical violence committed upon me based on my person. The civility and frivolity of childhood melted away far to late in my life; particularly given the destructive experiences I had as a youth. Although I do continue speak of games, travels and luxuries; a little less ignorance to the reality of identity.

I am done with hiding. You hold your husbands, boyfriends, and mistresses hands while walking down the strip of my city in your drunken state of bacchian excess; this blog will become a war plan of how to respond to your verbal and nonverbal assaults on me and my people.

Against everything I have always said about gay people just “rising above” the hetero- normativity and homophobia; it is time to start confronting and deconstructing it. I need weapons ranging from charm and sarcasm to offensive strikes.

If I don’t – the specter of paragraph 175 threatens to continually constrain my liberty.